Quarter Life Crisis

Last year I distinctly remember my friend Micah wishing me a happy 24th birthday and asking me how I felt. Being the slightly-OCD person that I am, I thought 24 was a really solid, even number which gave me a positive outlook on the year. "Ask me that next year," I joked, "25 is a really scary number."

Well, here we are.

Someone else asked me this year, "if you were talking to your little self, do you think you'd be proud of who you are?" - albeit it a very serious question for a birthday celebration, it's worth giving some thought. When people told us as kids that we could be whoever we wanted to be and go wherever we wanted to go, I always believed them. So as my little self looking forward, I think that I'd be proud of the fact that I've taken some chances, learned some lessons, and made a pretty joyful life along the way.

Quarter life crisis? Eh, not so much. It's hard to call anything in life a crisis when you're surrounded by such loving, encouraging and fun people! Birthday plans took shape early this year after rumblings of the fact that I'd never been to Billy Bob's, or owned my own pair of boots. (I think I was called the most "unTexan Texan, ever.") A group of my closest and dearest coordinated a night out in cow-town with a trip to the stockyards for Joe T. Garcia's fajitas and ritas, followed by a Miranda Lambert Concert at the World's Largest Honky Tonk.

My (new) vintage boots, courtesy of Mom!
These babies hadn't seen the light of day in over 30 years!

As I've become accustomed to the past few years, the tone of my birthday was set my a wonderful little snow storm. In New York, it was fun and we were familiar with it, but 12.5 inches in Texas made for a nice little surprise. It also added slight complications to the weekend. I've maybe never laughed as hard as I did while 3 girls in boots & dresses tried to push a BMW out of the snowy Billy Bob's parking lot...only to end up on our knees while the tires spun.

The snow also brought along the illusive snow day at work, and a mid-week sleepover due to power outages! As expected, Robbie was prepared with pizza and cookie cake.

A Brulyssa cookie cake & a New Moon cake?
I think Robbie made enemies in bakeries across Dallas for these novelty items.

All week, Kristen and Robbie had made a point that they wanted to give me my gift on Thursday night before the big day. A little worried that this gift seemed plotted and planned, I obliged and excitedly tore open the Nordstrom bag. If you're unclear on what kind of friends I have, here is a perfect example. In the expertly wrapped box was a birthday outfit - my favorite color blue dress, in the right size and fit, accessorized with a slimming chunky belt.

In case you don't know me at all, let me explain just how special this is. I'm the type of person that anticipates an event like this for weeks, and an hour before stands in my closet frustrated and hopeless because I have nothing to wear. (And sure enough - I had plans to leave work early on Friday and make a quick mall run.) And how many people do you trust to buy you clothes?! I would trust no one else to outfit me perfectly for my 25th birthday celebration; it is pretty much equivalent to me trusting them with my life. I'd do both, for sure.

Flowers, massages, cupcakes, books, cards and facebook messages. I have the best friends and family I could've ever known to ask for. What could I possibly have to be in crisis about?

Chez Soi

I was challenged by some fellow blogging friends, to write a post about home. No guidelines, no rules. Too much freedom scares me, so I'll keep it simple.

Home is my family. Home is my friends. Home is that perfect song. Home is that favorite movie. Home is Texas. Home is New York City. Home is not defined by geography, and neither am I.

See I refuse to believe
That my life's gonna be
Just some string of incompletes...
Been holding out for a home life,
My whole life.
- JM

Seemingly Small

I had already begun drafting a post declaring AutoTrader.com as my #7 favorite summer thing when I got a very touching email that changed my direction.

Since deciding to move back to Texas, I knew the car factor was eventually going to be a major decision. When I was 15 years old (you read that right - 15, didn't even have a license yet - which made me a popular high school freshman, for a few months anyway) my parents bought me a brand new 2000 green Volkswagen Beetle. (I even got it on St. Patrick's Day!) Take a minute here; go back to when you first saw that new Volkswagen body style driving down the street...it was huge! The new bugs were all the rage and I had the first green one in our little town. It was instant recognition, and in a town as small as our's, everyone knew who it belonged to.

That car saw me through some very formative years...awkward teenager with braces, bopping around to the latest Destiny's Child cassette tape; Varsity cheerleading (and allll the window paint that comes with that); college roadtrips and that inevitable "Freshman 15"...you name it, that car dealt with it. So upon my return this summer, the bug was pushing 10 years old, which is a pretty long and healthy life for a first car! But nonetheless, I decided I was ready to take that lunge into the adult world...and buy a Volvo. I set my nostalgia aside, spent a weekend restoring her to her former glory, and put her picture up on Craigslist - along with a note that said "Would be happy to sell to a good home"(I didn't want some scrub trashing out my car!).

So when the day came (literally 48 hours later) to hand over the keys, I was very pleased to find that I was handing them over to a 20-year old German girl ,who was new to the States, and boiling over with excitement waiting for the nod of approval as her father-in-law inspected it thoroughly. She was so eager that I enthusiastically showed her all the tricks and ticks and watched her drive away without so much as a tear!

People are funny about things. My New York friends never knew this side of me; they probably didn't even know I still owned a car! But people came out of the wood works to say their goodbyes to the bug. A friend I hadn't seen in 6 or 7 years sent her regards via facebook. Some of my closest friends said things like "I'm not gonna lie, I'm going to be a little sad to see it go...it's hard to imagine you in anything else!"; "I didn't even get to say goodbye!"; "We should've taken one last picture with it!". I considered setting up a message board for people to send their condolences; share their stories; connect with others who were having similar feelings!

But then I received a follow-up email from the family that bought her and I was reminded of how God works through the seemingly small and ridiculous things in our lives. The email read something like this:

We are the ones that bought your green beetle and I just wanted to tell you my daughter-in-law loves loves loves it. She is so proud of it and loves to go places. It is really nice and I wanted to thank you. I must ask...are you a Christian, because there is a fish symbol on the back of the car. My husband and I are Christians, but our daughter-in-law is not a believer. She was raised in Germany and does not believe there is a God...we are praying that she will come to understand how God sent his Son for us, and that He is our comforter, protector, cheerleader, everything we need. She asked what the fish was and what it meant and my husband said it was a symbol that showed you were a Christian. At first she wanted to remove it and I said that probably many prayers had been prayed and answered in that car. And I see she did not remove it. Her husband, my son, is a Christian, and is now in Afghanistan in harm's way...can you help me pray for her realization and conviction and most of all acceptance.

I have a very strong faith that everything happens for a reason and that God has intention behind the seemingly small things in life. My somewhat ridiculous love and attachment to a small, green piece of machinery is now a witness to another young girl who will no doubt, have as many prayers prayed and answered in that car as I did.

The new Volvo, already lovingly dubbed "White Chocolate", has some pretty big shoes to fill.

One Man's Trash...

Is another woman's JACKPOT!

6. Garage Saling

Spell check is trying to tell me that saling is not a word, but that's not going to stop it from being one of my summer favorites. I'm not usually one who is willing to rummage to find a bargain. I do enjoy my cheap stores, but places like Ross and TJ Maxx always overwhelm me instantly. However, this summer I discovered the art of garage saling. Or maybe I just learned to appreciate the thrill of the chase. Either way, I have some sweet new furniture that cost me next-to-nothing...and I learned how to use a power sander, so lookout.


Exhibit A:

When I found this, it was a dusty cube dressed in a bad '60's woodgrain with a piece of tape declaring its $6 value. Diamond in the rough, people! I stuck a "sold" sign on it before any of my fellow church fundraiser shoppers could snag it, and dropped it off at my brother's garage. A quick lesson with the power sander, a couple days' worth of stripping and staining and now this retro gem is my nightstand and book storage cabinet. (Also for your own future reference - wood stain will stain lots of things besides wood; shoes, shorts, grass, hands. Consider this my public service announcement for your own "fixer-upper" success. )


Exhibit B:

My desk, in all its Pottery Barn glory. After a long hard morning of garage saling with Kristen and Bailey (I'm talking up with the sun here) we made an unplanned and half-hearted stop by a garage sale we just happened to pass. It was after 9:30, which everyone knows is on the downhill side of a good garage sale, and we stumbled upon this piece hidden behind an ugly chair. I paid a total of $25 for it and didn't have to do a thing to it! Of course the inside of the drawer has the name "Audrey" carved into it in no less than 25 places, but that is a secret between me & Audrey, because no one else has to know.

Exhibit C:

A splash of windex and the swipe of a silver polish cloth can work wonders. This fancy little bathroom tray cost me all of 2 quarters...enough said.

Summer Countdown

I have to admit, it’s been a little difficult to keep up with my pursuit of new music when I’m not pounding the New York City pavement everyday with my earbuds. I’ve also had KISS FM radio to brainwash me into believing that there are only 10 songs out in the world right now; 25% of those being by Lady Gaga. You are wrong Kidd Kraddick, you are wrong.

That’s my short list of excuses for not keeping up with A Musical Snack this summer. And since I’ve woken up to realize that it’s mid-August and summer is nearly over, I've decided to give you a recap of all the things that I’ve loved this summer but was too selfish to share with you. In no particular order...

1. (500) Days of Summer

Love, love, love this movie. It's the perfect blend of romanticism with a heavy dose of reality. Throw in a great soundtrack that mixes Indie with 80's and I am sold! Unlike my usual self, I've only gotten to see it once (as I write this, I'm watching 17 Again for the fourth time), but you better believe I'll be buying it as soon as it hits the Red Box. It will charm your socks off.





2. The Time Traveler's Wife

Look out Twilight, there's a new love story in town...and it's a lot steamier. They say you learn something new everyday, and I've learned that I apparently have a weak spot for sci-fi romance novels. There's something so romantic and tragic about this story, and it's just downright creative. I'm a little embarrassed that I never know about these books until they've been made into movies, but brace yourself Nicholas Sparks, because this is the next Notebook. I'm about 80 pages away from being done and I'm stretching it out as long as possible...I'm always a little sad when I finish a book that's grabbed my attention as much as this has. But consider yourself warned - it can be a bit graphic...that's all I'm going to say.

You didn't think I'd lay out all 10 things in one post did you? I haven't blogged in over a month, give me a little credit for at least getting back on the saddle. And stay tuned, more witty and exciting entries to come...

Strange Conditions

Wow...so it's been a month since I last blogged. It's not that I haven't thought about it. Truth is, I make mental notes all the time with every intention of finishing out the thought and blogging about it later, but it just hasn't happened. My time has been consumed with applications, interviews and thinking and talking more about what I want to do with my life than is probably healthy.

Amidst my job search, Kristen loaned me her copy of Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado and mentioned it was a necessary read in our current state. He very eloquently encourages you to stop and take inventory of the gifts you've been blessed with; find your uniqueness. What gets you excited? What things do you enjoy that seem to come easy to you?

So now I find myself stressed that I don't have all the answers, much less a clear career path, and I'm concerned with how today's decisions are going to affect my overall "big picture". Oh how I wish I had a very distinct talent or passion that was unmistakable. A talented athlete who has worked hard all his life and set his sights on the big leagues. A talented singer/songwriter with a passion for music who has never dreamed of doing anything else.

I recently read an article in American Way magazine on composer Michael Giacchino who is responsible for the music you heard in The Incredibles, WALL-E, Up, Star Trek, the Lost TV series and this year's Academy Awards. He worked in publicity for Universal Studios and Disney, but he wrote and performed music in his spare time. He took evening composition classes at Juilliard and then took a seemingly irrelevant position as an Assistant Producer in California. As his talent and reputation grew, it wasn't long before Steven Speilberg and JJ Abrams were asking for him by name and he was in high demand in Hollywood.

This month's Elle magazine is dedicated to women in the music industry. There are short profiles on several well known artists and Gwen Stefani is on the cover, so of course I set aside some specific time to devour it cover to cover. But, the most interesting article was on Atlantic Records COO, Julie Greenwald. The writer positions her as the one who is attempting to save the record industry from itself, but I couldn't help but be fascinated by her past. She's a Tulane graduate with a degree in Political Science who started out working with Teach for America...and then (assumed by divine intervention) landed a job as an assistant to a music guru who ended up partnering with Russell Simmons at Def Jam Recordings. And just like that, her career path changed and now she's on the top, leading people like Diddy to say "She's probably the coolest white Jewish girl in history".

So I'm learning that there are lots of different paths to get you where you're ultimately supposed to go. I wish I was let in on those divine plans, but I guess God doesn't really need my opinion - considering that it changes daily.

Do not despise these small beginnings.
- Zechariah 4:10

Should've Sold My Soul To Disney

On more than one occasion, I've found myself in a conversation with friends about how we would do life differently if we could start all over. Most of us usually come to agree that we are pretty happy with the way things have turned out and wouldn't really have too much to change. I might hold on to my 16 year old body a bit longer, but we could play that game all day long. However, my friend Robbie always says, "I would've sold my soul to Disney as a child!" Hilarious? Yes. Do I agree? Yes. Over the last couple of weeks I've paid my dues to get wrapped up in the frenzy Disney has created at theatres nationwide right now.

17 Again with Zac Efron? Check. (maybe more than once - don't judge me)

Hannah Montana? Check.

I have to say, I think I could have had what it takes. No, my Dad didn't have a terrible single in the 90's called "Achey Breaky Heart" and I'm not really fond of youtubing myself for the whole world to see, but I think I could have done Disney proud. Since that ship has obviously sailed for me, I think I'll keep the dream alive and pass it on to my son or daughter. Just look at how great Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears (or not) and all those other mouseketeers turned out! I think this idea has potential...like a new kind of pageant mom. I could still have the best of both worlds...(pun intended).

City Love

I’ve spent most of my life trying to balance these dueling scenarios in my head. On one hand, I saw myself in a total Friday Night Lights scenario…marrying a good guy like Coach Taylor and being known and loved by all the townspeople. Ha. Because that’s what I knew and that’s how I grew up. But I’ve always had larger-than-life dreams and a larger part of me really craved something bigger. I saw myself living the fact-paced city life through Hollywood scenarios and being swept off my feet by a John Mayer type character. (I know how insane this sounds, but I actually think in these kinds of scenarios.) Do you remember the scene in Beauty and the Beast where she is singing in the field after rejecting Gaston’s proposal? That is a song and a scene that I have related to since I was a kid.

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere…I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand…I want so much more than they’ve got planned.”

As juvenile as it might sound, these are words that stuck with me and I found myself waving them like a banner just knowing that God had more in store for me. I have never been one to settle…probably to a fault! So I moved cross-country with my best pal and started a life in New York City. I worked for the company I dreamed about in an industry that had seemed untouchable. I lived it up and I made mistakes. I had the time of my life! We conquered the city in style.

I have love, love, loved the life this city has offered me. The friends I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned are immeasurable and I have zero regrets. But I’m choosing to swallow my pride and pay attention to what the Lord might have planned for me. So I’m going to “turn and face the strange ch ch changes”. At the end of the adventure, sometimes you just want to be near the ones you love – and for me, that means getting back to my roots in Texas. I’m deeply going to miss the rat-race; using planes, trains and automobiles just to get out of the city; random celebrity sightings while waiting in line at Starbucks; interesting people all around; Central Park in the summer. But all these little holes will be filled with finally getting to see one of my nephew’s soccer games; spontaneous dinners with family; weekends out with my best friends and getting to be involved as their lives change as well.

So there’s sadness and there’s excitement…both shoes fit and I’m taking a different route than I planned. I guess that will teach me to plan! But I am who I am, and if you think I’ve given up my dreams of traveling the world and being a fulltime groupie, you’ve got a lot to learn. Here’s to the Big Apple and to big dreams and fresh starts.

In the theme of nostalgia and sadness, these songs are so New York it’s going to ache to hear them anywhere else.

Many The Miles – Sara Bareilles (her entire Little Voice cd, actually)
Buildings & Mountains – The Republic Tigers
It’s About Time – Barcelona
Young Folks – Peter Bjorn
Strawberry Swing – Coldplay
City Love – John Mayer
Detroit – Black Gold
Won’t Stop – OneRepublic

“I tell everyone, I smile just because I’ve got a city love…and I can’t remember life before her name.” JM

Follow-Up

So now that I’ve had a couple of days to sit with the new Greg Laswell cd, I have to say, I’m hooked. If you’ve seen Confessions of a Shopaholic, you might have heard his reflective rendition of Girls Just Want to Have Fun…which is pretty cool and gives you some insight into his style. I found his bio on the VH1 new artist site (after sorting through junk for Tool Academy and some show about Ray J) and someone referred to one of his songs as “Jeff Buckley meeting Radiohead in an underground cabaret”. Make of that what you will.

All I want out of life is to be the inspiration for a song like And Then You. I know Kristen is going to razz me about going for the sensitive types, but seriously! This is the kind of song that you need to listen to with your headphones, turn it up and just have a moment…it really is so sweet. His whole album is pretty mellow (which I lurve) but this might be a little too slow and sensitive for some of you. I’m also a big fan of Comes and Goes (In Waves) and The One I Love.

Also, I have been a little hesitant to jump on the MGMT train because I thought that they were a little too techno-ish for my taste. I take it back. I listened to Kids practically on repeat on my way home today – granted, I was already in a good mood because it’s Friday and I had totally snuck out of work early, but it kind of just makes you want to bob your head a little. I’ll get around to the rest of the album soon.

Also, on a completely unrelated note – did you see this on Jimmy Fallon the other night? It brings together so many of my favorite things in a 2-minute span; Justin Timberlake, late night tv, John Mayer and 80's music.

Just because it’s the weekend and I couldn’t be happier:

Prelude

Music is maybe the only thing I’ve been consistently passionate about in my life. It has been a constant companion for as far back as I can remember. There was this one time I got a “jambox” for Christmas – I’m pretty sure it was kindergarten. I somehow got my hands on a cassette tape of Queen’s single, Bohemian Rhapsody (probably swiped from my older brother) and I sat in my closet, jambox in lap, and listened to it over and over, manually rewinding it each time. If you know me at all, which both of you reading this do, you know that this is consistent with my personality. I live for new music and then I completely wear it out. I’m a big fan of the shuffle and repeat features on my ipod.

Blogging is kind of a scary thing to me because I’ve got some really witty friends (and because it's presumptuous to assume people care what you have to say). I have a 9 to 5 job in an advertising/online publishing office, which means I gchat and read blogs most of the day – and I’ve read some really good ones. So to manage your expectations, here are some things you should know about me, this blog and my musical taste.

this is nothing new
I’m not a super-indie person and I’m not out constantly scoping new artists. Most of my playlists are a collection of songs I found featured on itunes, VH1 morning videos, a new movie trailer or an episode of The Hills.

i am very low-key
Give me a Justin Timberlake album and inevitably, my favorite song will be the slow ballad. (you know the part towards the end of Love Stoned…yep, that’s what I’m talking about) There is a time and a place for some Rhianna, but for everyday, I’m always going to pick something more mellow.

Without developing a formal mission statement, my goal for this blog is that it offers you some fresh ideas, brings up some old favorites and helps your day progress to five o’clock a little quicker. I have zero authority in the music biz – although I have been known to be the “Lyrics Police” - and I believe that everyone brings a new perspective to the table, so please offer suggestions! I plan to keep you updated on my latest and greatest "On-The-Go" playlist, inform you about who I'm listening to and why and who knows?...maybe even share my opinions on the new American Idol hopefuls. Share if you’re listening to something that really gets you going! And feel free to offer up tips and ask questions – I might need some ideas to keep this exciting!

Here is something to get this party started - thanks to Kristen for discovering this last year: